Subtitles: lilpentium@proton.me
Hamada Masatoshi
Welcome to Wednesday Downtown, everyone!
-Wooo!
Seiya
(Shimofuri Myōjō)
Hicorohee
Yuchyami
Imada Koji
-Yaaay!
What's with all the yaaying and wooing?
No, no, it's nothing
-Hooray!
Please go ahead
It's been a minute since I was here!
Right?
Without further ado
Here's our presenter! Come on out!
Oooh, who is it?
Oh here they are!
It's Saraba Seishun no Hikari!
Presenters
(Saraba Seishun no Hikari)
Higashi Bukuro
Morita Tetsuya
-Both of them are here!
Both of them came
Nice!
Thank you very much!
Alright, so everyone!
All of you here
Make your living just off entertainment, right
But before you made it, you had to do part-time work, right?
Yeah, I did
Of the people here, I think Hicorohee had to spend a long time at the bottom
Yeah it was a long time, 10 years, maybe even 20 I was still working
What kind of work did you do?
I was mostly working in the nightlife business
Like snack bars and such
But I also had a job inspecting screws
Inspecting screws?
Yeah I also inspected screws
Yeah, and when I worked there
All the men there really hated me for some reason!
They hated you?!
Were you joking around too much?
-No no, nothing like that
But on my last day there
I was like "oh thanks for everything!"
"It was a lot of fun!"
"Thank you for all your hard work!"
Saying all my goodbyes
And they were like, "you're the dirtiest Japanese person we ever met"
That's terrible!
-What did you do?!
I didn't do anything!
Anyway this week, we brought you a theory about part-time jobs
And here it is!
Theory: If you accept a very high-paying part-time job, even if it starts to feel like a crime and no matter how much it seems like an illegal job, you won't quit !
Oh this one is terrible!
This one feels dangerous
Has anyone here or anyone you know ever had a sketchy job like that?
When you're broke, you get pretty desperate...
-And especially people in entertainment usually aren't doing normal steady jobs
True...
It's easier to get a part-time job like that
-So have the two of you done illegal part-time work?
You talkin' to me?
No I haven't!
You were a little too fast to respond that you never did it!
Type of work
Instigator
Anthony
Nagano
Saraba Seishun no Hikari
Matenrou
Higashibukuro
This time...
These comedians will be presented with the opportunity to make 200,000 yen in just a few hours though 3 kinds of suspicious work through their seniors
[about 1500 USD]
Wow that is a sketchy-sounding payday!
They're persuasive!
If I'm the one who tells them about the job
It'll already seem pretty suspicious, right?
Indeed
He understands that about himself, eh
Anthony's target will be
This junior comedian who was referred to him...
Target
8.6 Second Bazooka
Hamayanen
Currently working in a food truck
A perfect target
He really is perfect for this -Sure, but let's not keep saying that
I'm gonna give you all this
Wow, really?
I've never worn this t-shirt
And the sneakers, I wore maybe only 2 times
First, he softens his junior's defenses with some tlc
A gift of some unneeded clothing
Well, I can give you these clothes of course
This is already suspicious
Well, I can give you these clothes of course
To lay the groundwork for offering the sketchy job
But are you free on the 18th?
On the 18th?
Let me just check my schedule real quick for the 18th
Ah, I think I can swing the 18th
Oh for real?
Yeah
Cause on the 18th
And this would only take a short time
But there's a bit of work available, you interested?
Some work?
-Yeah, work
What is it?
Hamayanen could really use some more money now too
Meanwhile, Higashibukuro's target is...
I-i-is it comedy related?
There he is! Hyouroku-san!
You gotta do some part-time work...
You only see him on this show!
Oh, the rent... Is this about how I get 60,000 yen a month?
(about $400USD)
Hyoroku
Target
Earning just 60,000 yen a month from his acting work
Hyoroku here is also in dire financial straits
The ratio's good
The ratio's good? Ohh...
Frankly speaking, this time
Why's he sitting like that?
You can get 200,000
(about $1500USD)
200,000?
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, I'm doing it too
Well, when I say doing it I mean...
Higashiburuko himself occasionally does this kind of job since his show business jobs dried up a few years ago
He's convincing
Bukuro-san doesn't look like he's acting
This time though, some other work suddenly came up on the day he was supposed to do it...
And he has to to find someone to fill in... This is the premise he came up with
Hyouroku seems like a good person
This is the kind of job you gotta be trusted to do, you know
Oh...
Bu-but can I really do it then?
But that's the thing... I was thinking about who I could ask
And then I thought I could trust you with it, Hyoroku
To mitigate the many risks associated with this job
He needed to find a trustworthy person of good standing
He's good
And as a result
Yeah
Higashibukuro explains that he has mainly been asking other comedians to fill in for him for this high-paying work
This seems believable -Yeah you could believe it
W- What sort of thing is it?
Well, it's kinda different every time, you know?
You know, getting 200,000 yen
Is actually a piece of cake for people
Honda Swimming School
Target
He's trouble
And what's more, a comedian can definitely live on that
This is perfect too
I'm serious
He's giving his sales seminar!
When the power differential is so big, that's dangerous!
A totally outclassed man desperate for money!
You must be feeling... Uneasy right now, I reckon
But that sense of caution is an asset for a comedian
So will you do it?
I, uhh...
Honda-kun will believe him
I guess I could give it a shot
Honda Swimming School can't conceal his unease at this high-paying job
200,000 is a scary number
Nagano's speech has that kind of effect on people
He'll believe since his senior is telling him
Honda reluctantly accepts the job
He really adores Nagano-san
-Oh really?
This might even be a religious level of devotion
If I got 200 thousand, I could pay my rent for two months!
Well, you know if I miss one time
I'll be taken off the list, so to speak
So you'd be filling in for me...
Of course, I'm not making a single yen from this
He's really convincing!
Of course, I'm not making a single yen from this
All the instigators are good
Of course, I'm not making a single yen from this
If you did it for me
For real?
So can you go do it on Monday, Hamayanen?
Maybe Anthony-san actually does this kind of thing?
Well sure, I could do it
But is it really ok with you though?
He's just too good
Dazzled by the exorbitant payday, rather than be suspicious...
Hamayanen is grateful to be considered
Both of them are believable
This is awesome
I'm really counting on you here, though
Of course
Go to Osaki station and I'll get in touch with you again
Ok yeah, understood
-I'll be counting on you on the day
It'll be a-ok!
Anthony then tells him where to go on the day....
He agreed!
He wasn't told about what the job is at all! -That's the scariest part
Hey, sorry for uh
-It's no bother at all
Calling you all the way out here today
-Don't even mention it
True
If you just texted me about it on LINE, it would have seemed pretty sketchy
Yeah, true
With no mention of any particulars
This unusual job offer is concluded
Is... Is this really alright?
It just seems a bit...
What? Seems a bit what?
Are you saying it's suspicious cause I'm the one telling you about it?
Oh no, I'm not suggesting that at all, Higashibukuro-san...
I was just thinking that things might go badly for you
Wow!
For me?
Maybe he wasn't making it clear until now
But Hyoroku was actually worried for Higashibukuro
What a nice guy! What a great junior!
Well then, well then
Can you pinkie swear on it?
What would he get from a pinkie swear?
Pinkie swear?
Yes, um...
No particular reason or anything
Using a move rarely seen among grownups, he gets a promise that the job is safe
I've never seen middle-aged men pinkie swear!
It's a skinhead's pinkie swear!
Can you just give me your address?
-My address?
Thats where it's gonna go the uh... The contact
Do... Do you mean I am going to receive a letter?
At about 12 noon
I see
It usually comes by mail
It's gonna go in your mailbox
I-is that... Is that really going to be alright?
I mean I'm sure it'll be fine...
Could we just swear one more time, just to make sure?
Is this really okay?
-I already told you I did it! What's the matter?
How far is he willing to believe him with a pinkie swear?
-I already told you I did it! What's the matter?
Being told "You'll find out what to do on the day"...
The three of them all take the job
Everyone seems like they'll get mixed up in it
Type of work
Target
Hamayanen
Hyouroku
Honda Swimming School
Instigator
Matenrou Anthony
Saraba Seishun's Higashibukuro
Nagano
Parking lot
Letter in the mail
Phonecall at the station
Means of contact
So, will our subjects do these suspiciously well-compensated jobs
And be able to complete them to the very end?
Ōsaki station
On the day of the job
And so the day of the sketchy jobs arrives...
Osaki... -Osaki has a scary vibe as a meetup
Seems somehow believable
Arriving right at the appointed time
Hamayanen appears, looking every bit like a mule
You can't just get away with saying he "looks like" one!
Can you hear me?
Oh hey, thanks for everything
Oh yeah, likewise
So there's this beauty salon' called Faam there, right
So there's this beauty salon called Faam there, right
Isn't that scary?
Oh, a beauty salon?
Yeah, you go to that salon
At then, at 3:15 pm
Go in like you have a regular appointment there, right?
W-what should I tell them? Usually you give a name...
It's uh Nonaka... looks like the reservation is under Nonaka
This is too much! -An alias!
Nonaka...
So like, when you go there, they'll fill you in
Is this how it actually goes down? -It's super scary
Ok, I understand, "Faam"... Got it
He enters the mysterious beauty salon
Under an alias
It would be hard to imagine this job is anything but illegal
His senior did tell him about it -It's still pretty unclear what it is, maybe
He arrived
Oh, hello there!
Nonaka...
Ah, Nonaka-sama, we've been expecting you
How sketchy
You can just place your belongings
In this coat locker here, if you please
By the way, how did you happen to hear about us?
Oh... a friend
A friend told me
He's not giving Anthony's name, huh
Not knowing who is involved in this...
Yeah, this is really...
"A friend..."
Hamayanen reflexively
Holds back revealing any identifying information
The mood is changing a bit now
After that...
Isn't it scary not knowing what he's supposed to do?
Do you normally put any product in your hair?
Not usually, no
He gets treated like a customer at any other beauty salon
What is this?
Doesn't he think something's up that they're cutting his hair first?
There's no mention of the job at all
For 10 minutes
Have you ever gone to Osaka for work?
Not really, I just go on my own time
On your own time, huh
Very interesting!
Super scary
But then, at that moment...
What's that?
He put something in!
I don't know much about it, but it seems realistic! -Scary!
The salon employee slips something into Hamayanen's pocket
Something got put in Nonaka's pocket!
Hamayanen probably thought "it's started"!
Just put something in his pocket without a word!
I'm gonna explain about the job, ok?
Uhhh... ok
RIght, you listen up
So, this is the job this time, right
Right
I put a box in your pocket just now, right
Right
So the job is, you're gonna deliver that for us
Uhhh... Ok
This is bad
Uhhh... Ok
And here's the most important part, ok
Ok
You're not to look inside that box, no matter what
That's so scary
I understand... Ok
If you just deliver it, we'll have no problem
Ok
The actor seems practiced
Target
Hamayanen
Type of work
Hyouroku
Honda Swimming School
Instigator
Matenrou Anthony
Saraba Seishun's Higashibukuro
Nagano
Means of contact
Parking lot
Phone call at the station
Letter in the mail
That's right, the job Hamayanen got...
Drug mule-type job
Is delivering a mysterious box, seemingly like being a drug mule
Slipping something in his pocket is scary!
But of course, the actual contents of the box
Are just some ordinary caramel candies
Of course, it's nothing bad
But the 200 thousand yen payday
Wow that's terrifying!
Heavily implies that the contents of the box are illicit
So the destination, right
What's Hamayanen feeling about this
Yeah
It's a park in Meguro, Himonya park
Ok
That's where you'll be delivering the package
Ok
There ,you get into a pink car
There, you get into a pink car
There's a woman wearing a white hat at the wheel
Him whispering like that is terrifying
And you give her that package
Ok
And by the way... the other people working here
You don't tell them about this
Ah, ok I got you
I'm the only one who knows about this
Got it
I'm counting on you, yeah?
If you really "got it", raise your right leg three times
Scary!
He raised it!
The way the guy spoke to him at the end was really scary!
Right, thanks very much
You alright there, boss?
Anything feeling funny? Like any itching or something?
No, I'm fine
Oh you're fine? Good to hear
And just so, this man who acts as an assistant into the underground
The moment he shifts his tone suddenly is scary
Finishes the terrifying shampooing session
This is real scary!
So are we good here?
Yeah...
Right, I'll raise the chair then
In front of Hyouroku's house
Too scary!
Day of the job
Meanwhile, Hyouroku is waiting for a letter to tell him the particulars of his job
It's for an illegal job!
That's his sketchy job outfit!
That's gonna get him stopped and questioned immediately!
That's his sketchy side
At the appointed time
He checks his mail, wearing a most peculiar outfit
When he grabs the envelope...
Is he the Chinese mafia?
Inside he finds...
One sheet of paper with instructions
And the key to a coin locker
Today at 1pm, go to the coin lockers located in 〇〇〇,Taito ward, Tokyo.
Inside locker no. 15, you will find the next set of instructions.
Under no circumstances are you to tell anyone else about this job.
And written on that paper was the following:
They had this in Vivant [thriller series]
The coin lockers mentioned
Bring to mind the ones that have appeared in some sinister stories in the news
[In the past few years, arrests have been made in connection with people receiving anonymous jobs through Telegram involving moving packages of narcotics or illicit goods placed in coin lockers]
That's dangerous
It has all the indications of some pretty scary dealings
It's easy to make that association -Yeah
What a sight he is
He's really playing the part
Like an Itami Juuzo movie [Tampopo, etc]
Carrying the key and the letter out in the open
Houroku heads for the nearest train station
He's going in those shoes?
This really is sketchy
However...
He suddenly stops walking
And contacts Higashibukuro
He's calling Bukuro after all -He's feeling uneasy
Sorry to bother you I think I'd like to cancel today's thing
What's the problem?
Way to go, Hyouroku!
I can't really say or write anything here but it might be too scary for me
He has some guts! -Good job
It'll be fiine! I already told them you were doing it so I'm counting on you!
Higashibukuro is the worst! -He's a bad guy
He tells Higashibukuro about the clearly dangerous situation he finds himself in
But since is already involved, Higashibukuro dismisses his concerns
Well, yeah that's Bukuro
Taito ward
He'll have to believe him
He trusts him
He's so lanky!
Left with no other choice, Hyouroku takes the train to the appointed place
It's too suspicious!
He opened it!
And once again checks the instructions
Those sunglasses don't suit him at all
He uses the key...
Oh man he's opening it
He's really doing it
This is just too suspicious
Things are taking a weird turn
And fearfully looks inside the locker
Are there oddballs like him in this city?
Are those like reading glasses?
So suspicious!
He thinks he won't get caught that way
There he finds
Another set of instructions...
Suspicious
Put on the clothing provided and take the cooler inside this locker.
Proceed quickly to the next coin locker.
"〇〇〇, Taito ward, Ueno, Tokyo"
"Put on the clothing provided..."
"take the cooler inside..."
"Proceed quickly to..."
Please stop this, Hyouroku-san!
Instructions
Key
Cooler
Vest
Rain boots
Locker contents
What's that?
What is it?
No matter how you look at it, it's suspicious
Mic hidden inside vest
They told him to put on the vest -Cause there's a mic in there
What is this...
He's going ahead
Inside the cooler
A large quantity of ice
[Panting]... [panting]
"A large quantity of ice!"
[Panting]... [panting]
What is all that?
This is tough...
It's heavy... What is in this thing?
But there's probably some reasonable explanation
It's heavy... What is in this thing?
Whether it's illegal... -Yeah, it's not clear yet
Ameya shopping street, Ueno (Ameyoko)
After only 15 minutes, Hyoroku arrives at the designated location
It's crowded
People might think he's just back from fishing
But not finding the coin lockers, he wanders around Ameyoko shopping street
Police
When he notices some police
He gives himself away completely by scrambling away like a wanted man
Running is the worst thing to do!
It's cause his mind is totally steeped in sketchiness!
He broke out in a sketchy trot!
-He gave himself away even before that
And then, the 2nd locker...
The staple of illegal work
It's monitored by police 24/7
Why's he putting on his sunglasses again? There's no point
Then as if to disguise himself
He puts on those sunglasses of his, and unlocks the door
If anything, it makes him more suspicious
He does it when he's steeling himself
Why's he looking like that?
What is it? -What was in there?
For some reason, Hyouroku quickly closes it
And lowers his head in despair
What is it?
He could be a painting
Wow, what is it? -This is like a movie
He checks it again, this time with eyes uncovered
And again despairs
What is it?!
What's in there? -What's the matter?
And this is because
This is what is inside the locker
Pig's heart for Korean barbecue (yakiniku)
In actuality, it's a pig's heart used for yakiniku barbecue
But with everything that happened leading up to it
It must look just like something far more illicit to Hyouroku
This is too terrible though!
Organs
He's looking at it for just a moment
That's his reaction?
-It's human organs!
A guy like that taking something like that out...
He gingerly opens the locker again and again, like it's a game of baccarat
And he's checking his hand
He's got a bad hand
He got a bad hand
Cause he got all hearts
Target
Hamayanen
Type of work
Hyouroku
Honda Swimming School
Instigator
Matenrou Anthony
Saraba Seishun's Higashibukuro
Nagano
Drug mule-type job
Means of contact
Letter in the mail
Parking lot
That's right, what has Hyouroku in the depths of despair
Organ trade type job
This is on a whole other level
Is a job that implies illegal organ trading
Oh, that was the reason for the cooler
That's why, huh
It must have been scary when he realized what the ice was for
Those lockers are cheap to use!
Oh no, he'll be found out!
Yeah they are!
He's protecting it
While running defense on the lockers
He has to cover it
He gets in touch with Higashibukuro again
Of course he would
There's something... that looks like a brain in there
No, no... -It's not a brain -Look carefully!
Something... yes
The thing they need delivered... whatever it is
If I do handle it, then I think maybe something will happen to me and you, maybe...
Well umm uhh... Maybe not you too
Something really bad might happen just to me
I'm going to hang up now... Yes, I'm sorry
That guy there...
I'm going to hang up now... Yes, I'm sorry
To protect Higashibukuro from potential criminal investigation
Don't cover for that guy!
Hyoroku decides to hang up the phone
He's a man who cares for his senior
Hyouroku's a good man
Then suddenly...
Yeah, taking it out is... -Scary right
Yeah if someone looks his way...
It's very suspect
He's gonna throw up! -This is the most dangerous part!
Blegh...
It's only a pig's heart!
That's bad -He did think it was brains -Taking it out is the most risky
Wednesday Downtown is brought to you by these sponsors:
Shinbashi
Coin locker key
Lastly, Honda arrives holding the standard item for illegal work
The key to a coin locker
It's Honda Swimming School -What will it be this time?
It'll be pretty bad
Lockers really are scary! -Yeah
Inside that locker, a mysterious Hanshin Tigers cap, and a mysterious key to the neighboring locker
And in the second locker is...
Whoah!
A person?
It's a person
That's too much! -What kind of job is this?
Inside the locker was...
An man who looks like he is down and out, crushed by debt
What do you mean "looks like"?
I guess he has that look
Honda is completely perplexed by this bizarre situation
He's probably going to take him aboard a ship
He steels himself, and opens the door again
This is something you don't even see in manga
Are you alright?
Damn -He really fit in there -Incredible
Are you okay?
Are you alright? Are you alright?
Scary! -Him not saying a word is even more scary
Trying not to disturb him too much
Honda carefully gets the man out of the locker
He's kind -A man came out of a locker
Hang tight a minute... Just hold on
200,000 yen payment
Tape recorder
Along with the man, he checks the tape recorder
And his payment of 200,000 yen
It's me
"It's me"
If you're listening to this tape, it means you managed to safely get the man
Your codename is "Tiger"
This shady job has a lot of setup
Your job this time is to deliver this man to Kisarazu harbor
Alive and uninjured
See? Told you! -Hamada-san you nailed it!
Kisarazu harbor?
Right? -I would expect no less
There will be a taxi stopped at Kisarazu station
Get in it and it will take you where you need to go
Best of luck to you, Tiger
Oh he's wearing a Tigers cap
What happened to you?
Good question
It's me
Target
Hamayanen
Type of work
Hyouroku
Honda Swimming School
Matenrou Anthony
Saraba Seishun's Higashibukuro
Nagano
Drug mule-type job
Means of contact
Organ trade type job
Parking lot
Target
The job Honda got
Is escorting a man to the harbor
In other words, a job that looks like human trafficking
Human trafficking type job
This one is tough too
By arranging an encounter with these three varied jobs
We offered up a lavish course of sketchiness
There are three of them, after all
They went all out
And so...
Do you want something to eat?
How kind!
Wow!
Are you feeling alright?
Even though it's scary
Even in this extreme situation
He's not talking at all
He worries about the man's empty stomach
Tiger truly is a kind-hearted man
Don't rename him Tiger!
Let's go to Kisarazu station then
Kisarazu is far, eh -Going there is a pain too
It's pretty far, eh
Let's get going
This one might be the hardest to complete
You're sure you're alright?
And so Honda-san sets off
With the man trailing behind him, Dragon Quest-style
Aiming for Kisarazu
He chose his party
The pair starts on their grand adventure
That guy does seem like a mage!
He looks like he has strong magic ability
Ohh...
However...
Booze...
Alcohol?
He's begging
Booze...
The first word out of his mouth is "booze"
You want a drink right now?
One drink... Just one drink, brother
What would you do here?
One drink... Just one drink, brother
Just one drink?
They even toasted!
He drank with him
First things first, they recharge their energy with a One Cup Ozeki
[a cheap sake drink]
This is pretty strong, do you like it?
With booze, it's gotta be One Cup
You like One Cup the best?
Booze's gotta be One Cup
One Cup?
Booze has to be One Cup?
-Right, booze's gotta be One Cup!
That feeling that they're not getting through to each other at all is awful too!
It's very realistic!
Meanwhile, we rejoin Hamayanen on his package delivery job
Package delivery
Now we just did a regular haircut today
So that'll come to 6700 yen
(About $50USD)
Oh, he had a haircut?
I'm gonna cover the bill
Alright then, that's all in order!
And your change...
The way he switches tracks is scary!
His whispering is scary
Here we are
You'll get the other half after you finish the job
He gets 100,000 yen as his "change"
Half the pay for the job
Don't do it, Hamayanen!
When you leave here, get in the taxi
Take it to the destination
Okay
Tell me where it is one more time then
Just say no!
In front of Himonya park in Meguro
A pink car with a woman in a white hat sitting in it
Alrighty, thanks for your business! The exit's right over there!
His tone shift is scary!
Thank you very much! Please come again!
His tempo is amazing! He's good!
Can he really cut hair and act too?
Great actor
Oh hey
Hello?
Come on, isn't this really bad?
Oh good -He told him
Huh? Wh-what was it like?
No, I mean...
It was unbelievably sketchy
Huh? What? How come?
That assisstant guy was unbelievably sketchy...
un elivably
s etchy
jo
He reports to his contact Anthony that it was an "unbelievably sketchy job"
[in reference to comedian Bike Kawasaki Bike's "BKB" routine]
That doesn't fit!
Why?
There's no call for that
I've done that job a bunch of times and I've never had anything like that
For real?
Yeah
No really... I'm being for real
I think It's fine... No, it definitely is
Turn him down, Hamayanen!
For real?
Yeah
Just be a little more brave...
You're sure? I guess I'll trust you then
Hamayanen is still easily convinced to keep going
He's not a bad guy, just stupid
But here, standing in front of a locker in Ueno
Hyouroku is still feeling conflicted
This is the most dangerous
And then...
A situation suitable for the home of the Ueno [phimosis] Clinic
[Clinic in Ueno specializing in plastic surgery for tight foreskin issues, i.e. phimosis]
Don't compare those things!
He disguised himself!
Hyouroku-san in disguise!
He stands out so much!
He finally manages to get the pig heart in the cooler
A pig's heart doesn't warrant that kind of nervousness!
Go to the address below while keeping the item refrigerated in the cooler.
〇〇〇, Taito ward, Ueno, Tokyo
The money inside is half of your payment, you will receive the other half on delivery
And sets off to deliver it to its final destination
Oh this is really bad...
Ohhh my life is over!
My life is over!
That's one way to put it!
What's he feeling carrying that?
I'm making a trifecta bet
A trifecta?
Shinbashi, bike race betting parlor
Meanwhile, having taken pity on the man
What are they doing?
Honda still hasn't left Shinbashi
Wow that's something
Damn brother, I'm gonna win 5000 over odds on this next one!
It's gonna pay out 5000 to 1!
That guy's gotten drunk
I think it would be better if you considered your situation more seriously
What's the feeling between them?
This is likely how the man's life fell to ruin in the first place...
Perhaps sensing this, he gives the man money for the bet
Does the kind-hearted Tiger
This is the kind of guy you see in Kaiji [gambling series]
Brother they're gonna close the bet soon, you gotta hurry it up
"Hurry it up!"
He's gotten bolder
Damn...
He's showing his true colors
Quit screwin' with me! Gimme back my money, you goddamn assholes!
It can't end like this.. just one more time, brother
-No, that's enough
That's enough, you had your one race
This guy's a great actor too
That's enough, you had your one race
Don't screw around with me you bastard, you gotta give me one more!
Tiger!
He's calling him Tiger!
It's crabs for me from here on out, you know
Cut me some slack here!
I don't know anything about crabs...
"It's crabs from here on out"
...The man cries out in desperation
Crabs?
The meaning of these words
Doesn't seem to get through to Honda
Crabs... That rings a bell
Let's go, let's get going already
Hey, screw you...
Screw you, don't mess with me!
So will these three carry out their shady jobs
to the very end?
There we have it!
Our 3 comedians have one foot in the criminal world!
I don't think they're criminals yet
Well they still have a chance to turn back
Which one of the jobs do you all think is the worst?
For me, it's that hair salon
-Oh, that one?
That young employee there was really something
The way he suddenly slipped that box in his pocket unseen
-That was really scary!
And then how he whispered in [Hamayanen's] ear
That was so scary!
-It was!
It felt like he was really practised at it!
Hyouroku was probably really scared too
And what Hyouroku came up with in the end
He pulled his sweater all the way up to there!
Hyouroku in disguise!
He didn't quite go all the way!
You can't go all the way with that!
He wouldn't be able to see anything if he pulled it all the way!
-It would have been better to pull it up completely!
You wouldn't see anything that way!
What kind of disguise is that?
Pull it up all the way!
The human trafficking is really bad too
-That's true
When Honda-kun opened the locker and there was a person inside
Everyone was like "Huh? What kind of sketchy job is this?"
Only Hamada-san was immediately like
"Oh yeah, he's going on a ship"
Well, yeah
That's just his experience!
It's like, how would you know about that?
Was that the one job you helped with planning?
-I didn't!
-Hamada-san was the first one to say "he's going on a ship"
He was first
-I think Hamada-san was first in guessing all of these!
I think just for this episode the credits will have
"Arranged by Hamada Masatoshi"!
"Copyright Hamada"!
The last thing you see at the end
Here we have
Hamayanen delivering a remarkably suspicious box
Hamayanen is stupid, so maybe he doesn't get it
I'd probably do that too
You can't see what's inside anyhow
What an idiot! Is it that hard to smell?
It don't smell like nothin'
He was told
To not look inside the box no matter what
Oh he can't do that eh
Advance money
Better stop it, Hamayanen!
It's even more suspicious that the bills are all brand new
It's suspicious alright
There's 10 of them in here too...
New bills make it even more so
Once again, he gets spooked at the sheer amount of money...
His unease at the direction things are heading keeps growing
But regardless
The taxi arrives at the park he was meant to go
And then...
Fake police
Oh dear!
Fake police
He notices our fake police standing where he needs to go
Fake police
And makes a sharp turn to avoid them
He knows he's doing something bad He's acting like he understands
He still somehow finds the pink car
Illegal jobs are scary alright
Inside of course, is the woman in a white cap
There's a kid in there
The dealer appears to be an ordinary housewife
I see! -I think I've heard of something like this
In a way, a very true-to-life setup
It's realistic
Uh, how's it going
Oh yes, hello
I'm supposed to give something to you, but...
Are you Nonaka-san?
I am
Please, get in
Just come on, get in quick
He's being told to get in, that must be scary!
He's told to get in the car
It's now time for the caramel delivery
You can't back out now!
Come on, Hamayanen!
Get the picture!
Ok, oh.. is this it?
What you were asked to deliver?
-Yes, this is it
Let me just check it real quick
He handed it over!
He's out, he handed it over!
He's trying not to look!
For the sake of plausible deniability....
He faces away from the package
Ignorance is no excuse
Here
What's that... oh
Um...
Please check that it's all there
Ok
Man, seriously...
Now that he's counting it, it's over
Just count it up to make sure there's no mistake
He's got the other half now
Just count it up to make sure there's no mistake
Now that the job is finished, we reveal the prank
Ohhh they're doing it there?!
He went though with it He got to the end
Oh shit!
Good thing for you it was a prank
Oh man
No, I got it
Oh man...
That was bad!
That's no good!
That was real bad!
This is actually good though, really
No, no
It's kinda half-not good though
You're already half-dead, dumbass!
Meanwhile...
Hyouroku is in the middle of delivering a fresh pig's heart
Higashi-Ueno Korean town
His destination is in Korean town...
A Korean barbeque place, Kourai diner
Believable
In a suitably sketchy alleyway
... A man appears
He's blending in too much!
What's he got himself into
This is crabs too eh -He's still coming back from fishing
The package being what it is
Hyoroku alone is wracked with anxiety
It's quiet out there -Yeah
Just a normal downtown scene
Yeah, just a nervous fisherman
And then...
You're the one?
Pardon?
The coin locker?
I'm Hyouroku?
Don't tell them your name!
The coin locker?
Excuse me?
Suddenly, a suspicious-looking man appears and addresses him
He's supposed to look like Korean mafia, right?
You didn't look inside, did you?
Oh, no I didn't
Let's go for a little walk
Uh, wh-where... huh?
Where are we going?
You really gotta take a look at this specialty restaurant
Specialty restaurant?
Let's go
Come on
It's over here
Hang in there!
It's okay
His expression!
They head to a barbecue inside a organ meat speciality restaurant
Organ meat specialty, huh
Because he has a pig heart in there
(What are you so scared of?)
Erm...
(It's fine)
Huh?
It's fine
(What are you doing over here?)
(Sorry, bro!)
(Go somewhere else, asshole)
(I'm sorry!)
This has to be scary
It's okay, it's okay, come
Come, come, come
It's too scary!
Excuse me
(And you move it, quick)
Run away quick, Hyouroku!
(I'm sorry!)
Put that down and run! -Run as fast as you can!
Why are you going? -Don't go there, Hyouroku!
Put that down and run!
Why are you going? They'll kill you!
Just go in there, it's ok
Why is he going in?!
Just go in there, it's ok
Open the door!
Ok, ok
Open it already, it's fine
Ok, ok
Come in, come in
Ok...
And then appears...
An employee dressed halfway between a surgeon and a cook
Oh yeah
He's exactly between the two!
He could really pass for either one!
If you just glance at him for a moment...
(Put that over here)
He looks like a surgeon
(Now that he got it here, let's go party hearty!)
What's going on with him?
(Ok, I got you, you go on up ahead)
Completely in between!
Let's do this with a bang!
It could be either one
(Yeah, I'm with you)
(Put that over here!)
I've never seen something like this
(Here, here)
Ok, ok
(Let me check it out)
I've never seen a uniform like that
It really is perfect
(Hold on)
Ok...
(Ooh, it looks great)
He's still not leaving, huh
(Good size too)
(Where you going?)
(Hold up)
(Come over here, over here)
Yes, ok
Run away, run away!
(The meat looks good to me)
(Smells good too)
Get used to it! -Don't throw up!
(And the texture is good)
They'll kill you if you do!
It is a yakiniku place after all
He wants to make sure it's good to eat -He's going to serve it
Ok, ok, thank you, ok
(Nice work today!)
(This is really good)
(Let me shake your hand)
(What's the matter?)
He's just grateful the heart was delivered -Yeah
(Come on upstairs)
No, no, I'm fine, it's ok
(You did good, so come upstairs)
Thank you very much
(Good job, good job)
Sorry, thank you
No really, really
Really... I'm all set
(Hey, hey, come on)
Really... I'm all set
Hoyouroku profusely refuses the invitation
He thinks if he goes upstairs, he'll be killed
But he's still taken up to the 2nd floor, where the regular customers are eating
(Oh, this is delicious)
Coming up like Hyokkori-han [comedian who peeks around corners like that]
He's probably still frightened
Of course, it's obviously scary
(We got the fresh pig heart here)
(Oh, it's the guy who brought the meat!)
He doesn't know what they're so happy about -Yeah he doesn't understand
The awaited pig heart barbecue party commences
It's actually just a nice barbecue pig heart party -Right
(Get this guy a drink)
(You want a drink?)
(I'll get you one in a moment)
(Eat some meat)
But from Hyouroku's perspective...
But that's not what he thinks
Eat!
(What's the matter? Have some)
(Eat, eat)
What's going on, eat!
He's too scared
What's going on, eat!
(Hey, come on, it's really good, just try it)
What kind of meat is it? Scary
(It's really delicious)
That's right
He still doesn't realize that it's a pig's heart...
That makes sense
And so, we reveal the prank
Oh, that's when they reveal it?
He's got snot coming out!
I've never seen someone sweat like that
What is going on here?
Oh, thank goodness
He might cry
Thank goodness
I thought my life as an entertainer was over...
(Crew) Why did you think that?
Ahh because... oh
I thought I had really done it...
I thought I had delivered a heart
Technically you did
(Crew) What kind of heart?
Someone's heart...
His expression is out of a Korean movie
(Crew) This is a pig heart
Good expression
A pig?
He's crying!
You'll get a movie offer out of this
Is it good?
He'll get a Korean move made from this
(Crew) Well, just try a bite
He'll get an offer quickly
Is it actually good?
He's got range
(Crew) Yeah it's really good
Thank you, pardon me
It's incredibly delicious!
Thank goodness!
Wednesday Downtown is brought to you by these sponsors:
"People who act like they didn't know they were doing illegal work"
This has turned into a sort of public service program
This is not a good way to get the point across
This won't work
It's only for those three
Kisarazu station
And so last but not least, we have the Kisarazu Tiger
I'm tired...
This is the last one
Is this it?
This is it
To get them to their destination
They board the taxi arranged by the mysterious organization
It's the full course treatment -Yeah
Where you headed?
Kizarazu port
The harbor
Kisarazu port...
Kisarazu... To the harbor, I mean
Well, I don't know much about it, but
Are you really Tiger?
Yes, I'm Tiger
So what's the address?
The address.. hold on a moment
He's started calling himself Tiger now
He confirms the address from the tape recorder
And identifies himself as Tiger as proof
Come on, you're Honda Swimming School!
One way or another, they depart for their destination
Tiger
-Yes?
I think things might get pretty dicey for you from here
So you should just ditch me and get out of here
They've formed a friendship
This is scary stuff!
He's making a great face!
What's gonna happen?
Right, yeah... Maybe... I'll just do that
Tiger has probably figured out by now
That the man he's trafficking is probably going to be forced to work on a crab fishing boat
He's really getting nervous now
It's evening now -That's scary!
And now...
Two silhouettes are walking toward the sea
In an eerie harbor at dusk
Imagine walking in a place like that
-He really can't turn back now
Then...
Why did he go?!
(Halt!)
What now?
Is that a Russian?
That's a Russian guy right?
(Code name?)
(What's your code name?)
Tiger
(Tiger, ok)
Suddenly, a Russian man appears and demands his codename
(We boiled up some crabs for you there)
(Go straight on)
(And then there. Got it?)
The word crab came up
(Take him)
Well, he doesn't understand -How scary!
That's right
Though we made it appear that it was human trafficking
For forced labor on a Russian fishing boat...
It's actually a job to escort a man to enjoy a crab boil
What a nice job!
That's the rough premise we thought up
He dislikes eating crab
Tiger, I really don't want to do this
What is this crab-hating setup?! It's unnecessary!
No I get it, I really get you
That's what it was! That's why he kept mentioning crabs
This is really scary, isn't it
There, at that moment...
Oh?
From the other side, two more figures appear
Oh,a similar-looking guy -Oh yeah
Oh?
Who's that?
Honda?
It's Honda Swimming School
Who's that guy
Honda wasn't the only one doing this job...
Honma Kid
"The parting shot comedian" Shinichi
Instigator
Target
Yadan
A one-time job would great now
It's Honma Kid!
I know, right?
You're really helping me out
They got him too
Honma Kid was also escorting a guy
Uwaah!
Whoah!
It was the same premise in a different place
That would happen
Good thing it was a wide street!
He flew as if a light truck hit him!
Augh...
Hey, Dragon...
Given the codename Dragon
They both got it from the caps
He participated in the same sketchy-seeming job
How will they react to meeting here?
(Stay here)
(Codename?)
Tiger
(Tiger?)
Tiger
He identified himself straight away
He totally accepted it
He's forgotten he's Honda
That rifle is scary!
(Codename?)
Oh yeah, he has a rifle!
Dragon
They're gonna kill you! Run away!
(Dragon?)
Anything but crabs...
Because he doesn't like eating them!
Maybe they give him hives
(We have some very delicious soup for you today)
(It's made from crabs caught in the Bering sea)
The Bering sea
He explained it to him
Huh?
(Take these geezers with you)
Why did they bring a rifle to a soup kitchen?
And so, urged to proceed further inside
Go Tiger and Dragon
"Listen to my story!"
[The intro from the drama "Tiger and Dragon"]
And then...
Sorry for losing that bet
No, no it's fine
They've formed some kind of strange bond
We can go again
In a mood like they are saying a final farewell
They arrive at the soup kitchen
Just as I thought, it's a crab boil
How lame!
I don't like crab
What a lame punchline!
Realizing he's been had
Honda breaks into a smile and relaxes
He's smiling now
It's finally dawned on him
Ugh, crab is gross
It's definitely not my favorite
What kind of job is that?!
Now that they've gotten a taste of our punchline
We reveal the prank
What is this?
I think he gets the double meaning at the end
What are they feeling?
(Crew) What are you doing here?
What are you saying, what am I doing here...
Well... I thought I was gonna be killed
You would right -He would think that
You know, instead of thinking...
"What the hell are you guys doing"
It's more like a feeling of relief and gratitude right now
It wasn't a crime, thank god!
He's relieved He's just relieved
(Crew) What did you think when you recognized each other?
I thought, "oh, you too?"
I guessed a lot of comedians must be doing this kind of thing now...
In conclusion, a high-paying easy job is too good to be true
Thanks for that!
There you have it
That's how it went, eh
Four comedians have committed a crime!
No, they didn't!
It's clear now
That there's a ready supply of criminals in the comedy industry!
They'll agree to it quickly
If your senior pushes you, it's hard
I definitely think Hyouroku is getting that movie offer soon
He definitely will
I think Hyouroku ran away with this one
Hyouroku's probably gonna make a mint in Korean cinema
What do you think, Yuchami?
That last bit at the harbor was so scary
I think they felt they couldn't turn back
-They thought it was all over for them
There was that foreign guy at the harbor, right
And instantly
Hamada-san was like, "That's a Russian"
You did say it! You did!
"That's Russia"
Why don't we make a quiz show out of that on TBS?
Underworld quiz show
It's Hamada-san's specialty
-Hamada can host the quiz
"The Underworld Quiz Show"
That's a risky title for TVer
And so, I hope our viewers understood what they saw
There are a lot of people in this world offering illegal part-time jobs!
Right
They hide the fact that it's illegal with a convincing cover story
And these kind of people are closer than you think!
You can only rely on yourself to stay safe!
You have to have the courage to just say no!
That's right!
Don't you ever forget that!
Yeah, That's right!
That's it from us!
This episode was a public service to raise awareness!
That's not gonna cut it!
Why did they have to call me in for this one?