The 1st Gaki no Tsukai Intense Battle
Keep blowing splendidly! Nose Club!!
Nose Club
I don't understand this either
Yeah, there have been various club activities before
This time it's the Nose Club
The Nose Club?
The nose is known as the eyelid of a person
The eyelid is the eyelid
What nonsense are you talking about?
It's a very important organ. So we'll have a competition using it today
I see
Starting 20 years ago, they've attempted to achieve the honor of being the strongest in the entertainment industry
Many exciting competitions have been held in the Gaki no Tsukai Club Activity Series
The only weapon is one's own body
Tonight, who are the opponents gathered to compete for the honor?!
Lets bring out the opponents please!
Thank you
Here we go again, here we go!
You idiots can't even handle your own noses!
Showing off as usual!
So irritating!
※Using a nose-related idiom
"Can't handle your noses" -How annoying!
You guys...
Isn't this splendid?
※Japanese pun: "Hanabana" (splendid) sounds like repeating "hana" (nose)
We already said that!
It's written right here
Isn't this exactly it?
Plus you're complimenting
We'll never lose! Look at today's lineup!
Today's members...
The lineup seems a bit different today
Yeah, something's different
The first three are the same as usual
But two new faces are here
We've added some fresh blood
"Fresh blood"...?
Nishida's brand new!
What's new about him?!
He's already fully formed!
As a human, he's completely formed!
His form might be weak, but his nose is strong!
I've never got that impression at all about him
And then there's Subaru...
That loudmouth...
Use your nose to say something clever!
Stop with the annoying remarks! (hana)
That's been said already!
It was said already!
Don't you start with that!
Lets begin the Ultimate Nose Club Showdown!
Please explain the rules
This competition has two categories: individual and team matches
Basically just these two types
Winning each match earns 10 points
The team with highest total score wins
No kidding!
The intense nose-only competition among 10 comedians is about to begin!
The first match is this!
Nose Flute Endurance Challenge!!
For this match, you'll insert this flute into your nose
And compete to see how many seconds you can continuously play it
The team with the longest combined time wins
Basically just blow the flute -Right!
We choose, 3, 2, 1
Tanaka
Tanaka, please begin
Here comes the gross one
Who said "gross"?!
Here comes the gross one -Who said gross?!
Say it again and I'll kick your face
Mitani Koki's least favorite protruding chin
What's wrong with that?
Who will Yoshimoto's dream team pick?
3, 2, 1
Subaru
Why'd it suddenly get quiet?
Feels like we're the away team
That pasty glasses-wearing guy
That's just straight-up mean
Not even trying to sugarcoat it
First up: Yoshimoto Dream Team's Subaru will attempt the challenge
Go go!
So short!
No way no way
He stopped midway!
Stopping doesn't count!
It's acceptable though?
Now let's see Subaru's recorded time
It was definitely longer than that!
Only the actual flute-playing time counts
Are you stupid?
That's how it works
Don't lose, Tanaka!
Silky hair~
Its not about silky hair right now!
Don't you dare lose!
That guy's talking nonsense
So long!
Pretty amazing
Nose Dept! Nose Dept! Nose Dept! Nose Dept!
Did you inhale first?
Inhaling's allowed? -It's like a running start
Of course!
You did it too...
I didn't!
You totally inhaled!
I really didn't!
Liar! You clearly inhaled!
Scary scary scary
So scary
You definitely inhaled!
Let's take a closer look
Get closer and see his face
Nothing good can happen from approaching...
Back off back off
Scary
Now let's see Tanaka's record
This is Tanaka's record
7 seconds
Nose Flute Endurance Challenge!!
Next match: Shoji vs. Endo
Does this Shoji guy even exist?
He does he does he does
Nose-ty
Nose
Don't use the flute! Don't use it!
That's against the rules, right?
Totally illegal!
That wasn't acceptable just now!
It's just Nose-ty~
Then explain what Nose-ty is
Nose
At least make a sound
No sound~
Alright, that's enough
Now presenting: Yoshimoto Dream Team's Shoji's attempt
Do your best, Shoji!
Nice!
Pretty long huh
Nothing special really
No big deal
Pretty long right?
The recorded time is
4 seconds?
If Shozo gets 20 seconds we'll win for sure
No way he'll get 20!
Next up: Gaki Team's Endo attempts the challenge
Not bad
Let's see Endo's time
Should be good
The recorded time is
8 seconds
Oh no oh no oh no
Middle match: Iwao vs. Hamada - Changed flutes
Changing it?
This won't work...
Trumpet-style
Now presenting Yoshimoto Dream Team's... -It won't fit!
Iwao's attempt
Go Iwao!
Do your best
Take a deep breath first
Amazing!
Does that even count?
That tiny bit at the end
You're counting that tiny sound?
Of course it counts!
That's still a flute sound!
Its like a bean sprout root...
That faint sound
It still counts as the instrument's sound!
The record is
8 seconds
Did you include it?
We counted the faint sound -8 seconds
Try for 10 seconds!
So pathetic
He jammed it in hard!
There's no air coming out at all -Really!
Is that okay?
No leaks means it's fine
Here comes the little monkey
Fujimon, you'll get punched
That's straight-up rude
I heard that!
He really looks like a monkey jamming it in
Don't leak air, Hamada
Got it got it
I'll jam it in tighter
Make it tight!
Now Gaki Team's Hamada attempts -That face!
Hey!
Tofu seller!
This won't do
No good no good
Enough enough
Tofu seller!
Shouldn't it keep making a sound?
Its the trumpet logo!
※Seirogan stomach medicine packaging features a trumpet logo with jingle in ads
So nostalgic!
Now let's see Hamada's time
Look here
3 seconds
Not even 3!
No no, it was 3 seconds
Nothing at all!
Next match: Using even harder flutes
Another flute type is added
Both using the same one right?
Obviously!
Is this the new one?
The curly flute
This is new?
This was here from the start
This was original -No this is new
No, what you're holding was first
I said it was
This was first!
It wasn't this! It was this!
Wrong wrong wrong
Not true
First...
The extendable one
The extendable type
This was first?
Weren't you watching? First was this!
No way!
Really?
Yes
Sorry
What's going on?
Boring!
So blunt
Now: Yoshimoto Dream Team's Nishida attempts
That's it?
Review review review
Re-evaluate!
Great!
Too hard
This flute makes no sound
It can't produce sound
Its been maintained poorly
Maybe didn't blow hard enough...
Was it ever functional?
Try blowing it
No sound!
Here
Need to blow super hard
Nishida's time: 0 seconds
Opponent: Hosei
Next: Gaki no Tsukai Team's Hosei attempts
Is that a flute's sound?
That's a fart
Definitely a fart
Just flatulence
Wasn't a fart!
That's a fart -Wasn't a fart!
It's the flute!
Check the recorded time
No sound
2 seconds
OK, not bad
At least it made a sound
There's now a 5-second gap before the final match
First up: Currently leading, Matsumoto
This one definitely makes sound
The final match uses a high-pitched recorder
How should I finger it?
Randomly?
Random's fine
Fingering doesn't matter
I'll cover the bottom holes
Why're you playing an F?
Wait, who goes first?
They said it's you!
Don't be like that
It's still just round one
I can't even keep up with your tsukkomi
So scary
Even to teammates
Begin! First up: Gaki Team's Matsumoto
No no no
Too choppy...
Can't do this
This won't work
You stopped midway
You must maintain a sound
I didn't stop!
But continuous sound is required
That was fragmented
Nobody told me!
We did -Everyone else did it
Only sustained sound counts
I'll keep it continuous -Don't stop
Matsumoto!
No retries allowed...
Why are you casually preparing again?
Is that wrong?
Just one more try
Don't stop
If you stop, that's your time
Now: Gaki Team's Matsumoto attempts
There was a pause, right?
Why continue after the sound stopped?
I definitely heard it
Trying to restart after stopping? Impossible!
What's the time difference now?
Fujimon needs over 10 seconds
Fujimon, 10 seconds!
Its doable!
The recorder will work
I'm confident in my lung capacity
Yoshimoto Dream Team's Fujimon attempts
Wait a minute
He was beside me
Trying to make me laugh
He kept laughing!
Not true
During the countdown
Because you were laughing
Please stop laughing!
I wasn't laughing
You were! You're distracted me!
Can I retry?
Sure, since you haven't started
Now: Yoshimoto Dream Team's Fujimon attempts
Great!
Definitely passed
So good!
No way, it didn't pass
This is Fujimon's time
The first point goes to the Yoshimoto Dream Team (10pts)
The next match is...
Nose Hair Tug-of-War!!
Nice nice
Nose Hair Tug-of-War
It'll get plucked out
It won't come out that easily
Brazilian Wax Nose Hair Tug-of-War
Nishida vs. Tanaka
I won't lose to this idiot
"Idiot"? Haven't heard that in ages
Who you calling idiot?
Watch your mouth
Try not to lose
Tanaka
You're not centered properly
Who? Who's calling Tanaka?
Is this really centered?
Mitani Koki's dog
Now we'll begin
The Nose Hair Tug-of-War
Tanaka vs. Nishida
Get ready
Ready... Go!!
Excellent
Observing the situation
No problem no problem
This is psychological warfare
Right, timing offense and defense
You can pull harder now
Nice nice
Get the advantage now -Pull more
Pull now
But will it get plucked?
Feels like it might
"Get plucked"?
It'll get plucked!
Or maybe not
It won't get plucked, no problem
Can you move more?
Right right
Can do can do
Don't mistime your offensive
It'll get plucked!
What's "get plucked" mean?
Nishida move back
Retreat, retreat
Good chance good chance!
Wait, it might get plucked
Hold your position
Right right
But it'll get plucked!
If you pull too hard, it'll get plucked!
Should we attack?
Tanaka, pull hard!
I'm attacking!
One fell out -Fell out, right?
So weak
The Yoshimoto Dream Team wins
Pathetic
Extremely weak
Not even funny
Not even an "ouch ouch"...
No "ouch ouch" at all?
It just slid right out
No way
It pulled out so much
Really!
Don't—!
"Don't—!
That must've hurt
No human speech! Pig Noise Telephone Game
He spoke! He spoke!
Not allowed -He used words!
The next match is...
Pig Noise Telephone Game
Its a team game using only pig noises to relay messages
They must correctly pass a phrase to the end to earn 10 points
This is Gaki Team's phrase
No peeking! Don't look here
※The Opposing team can see the phrase
Begin!
Wait really?
We are now starting the Pig Noise Telephone Game
Come on!
Better to exhale?
He spoke! He spoke!
Not allowed! -He used words!
I didn't speak...
No human speech allowed
No words no words
Pig noises only
You must communicate only through oinks
No human speech!
No talking no talking
He totally spoke
He did!
Use pig sounds!
But it seems like...
Yoshimoto Dream Team knows the answer
Right
They said it!
Now Matsumoto, pass to Hamada
No human speech!
Took some effort?
No problem no problem
Go ahead
So skilled
Super skilled
He's best at this
Matsumoto's amazing
Incredible
Here we go
Brilliant!
Can't do this too much
One more time
Feel it -I didn't get it
He's too good at this
Amazing
Knowing the answer makes it seem easy
Now Hamada, pass to Endo
Genius
Genius?
Wait, did it get through correctly?
No idea
Seems impressive so far
Intimidating
Could it be...
Can't even oink properly?
No no, what are you doing?
Wait, do it properly!
I'm trying! -Got it got it
There's a huge gap between Downtown members
Intimidating
Make a sound!
Got it got it
Wait wait
I'm trying to...
Inhale
Inhale!
Can't even do that?
Please
See? Completely clueless
Can't guess! Impossible to guess!
Please have mercy
I practiced earlier and did it fine!
First just do a normal pig sound
Someone teach him
Hamada, you've got it backwards
He's always angry
What?
Why can't you do it?
You have to inhale first, explain the method!
Don't exhale!
Inhale!
Open your mouth, open it
Open your mouth
Ha!
Seriously
Wait wait wait
Since Hamada can't oink
Move him to the end
We'll restart the game with Matsumoto's oinks, same phrase
He's so good
Amazingly good
Once is enough?
He said it
No no no
Doing this many times will...
Blame yourselves for praising him
Now he can't do it
Got too cocky
There's ups and downs...
Matsumoto, no human speech!
Still so skilled
Incredible
Endo, do you understand?
Now Endo, pass to Tanaka
Don't laugh
I'm serious!
Too much of a Mori Shinichi vibe...
I can't help it
It's innate, I can't change it
Very skilled
Tanaka
Okay here goes
Pass to Hamada
This should work
So lame
Bad bad
Hmm but
Did the nose make a sound?
The nose didn't
Its getting harder
Proper oinks please
He answered me
He oinked back at me
Hamada won't oink
Never oink again
Because you can't
No one left to pass to
Kinda makes sense
Now Hamada, reveal the answer
※Nightingale's call
Tweet tweet
Perfect!
Why is another animal sound the answer?
Why would we use pig noises for other animals?
Seriously?
You got it, right, Tanaka?
Tanaka understood it?
National Diet Building, right?
Correct!
It connected!
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