For the first time on Gaki no Tsukai
Let's do this.
Compete for 100,000 yen! Spring badminton tournament!
Hitoshi Matsumoto
Masatoshi Hamada
Tsukitei Hosei
Shozo Endo
Naoki Tanaka
This is good, huh?
Badminton is a good choice.
The staff is gonna get a 19% viewing rate with this.
For badminton?
Really?
The staff sure are idiots.
We'll do our best.
Hang on, everyone! Just a minute!
Just a minute...
Wild Bomb
Rossy
What is it?
Thank you for having me.
As soon as I saw Rossy...
I already knew who else is here.
We're playing badminton today.
No, no, no, badminton is super fun.
It's gonna drop to 19%.
They're aiming for 19%.
No, we're aiming much higher than 19%!
Oh, much higher? Then I'll play.
It's gonna reach 20% or 30%.
What the heck, Rossy!
What is he even saying?
Please calm down.
YOU calm down!!
It's your fault!
You're blaming us?
The reason Rossy appeared in a white coat is...
Suddenly, Rossy appeared on the set.
But why is he really here?
Well, I'm here because
I'm currently researching the future.
And the future person...
I successfully brought him here!!
Why are you researching the future?
What kind of future research?
You're researching the future?
There's no roof!
That's a premonition of the future!
They're making a commotion because I'm doing this.
But a person from the future is here.
They might be looking for them...
If I were Rossy,
I'd probably start over from the beginning.
But I'm not Rossy...
No, no, no.
Translated by kentranslations Timed/Edited by blakeo_x
Coming face to face with a person from the future
Rossy successfully brought someone back from the future.
Now, they will get to meet the individual.
He's here!
From the future
Wild Bomb
Cookie
He's from the future?
I'm from the future.
Did you just say "good morning"?
That's a normal bike.
It's a future scooter.
Ah, so it is.
It's pure white!
It's a future scooter!
It has the Suzuki logo.
What?
This is Ami Suzuki's bike.
Ami Suzuki
(Translator note: Ami Suzuki is a popular DJ and 90's idol)
Ami Suzuki is really popular in the future.
That doesn't prove he's from the future.
It doesn't?
Doesn't it seem super futuristic?
Not really...
What do you mean?
Hi.
Hello...
Well, I'm from 16 years in the future.
16 years?!
That's hard to believe.
Does fashion change that much in 16 years?!
It's totally different.
It's the rainy season all the time.
It's always raining, so we need wetsuits.
The Earth's gonna change a lot, huh?
It's completely different.
The weather's gonna be so unusual.
It's true.
I see!
They fall...The meteorites fall into the earth.
Really thin ones.
The small ones. They're about this big.
That's not gonna have any impact.
They're about this thick.
They're really thin, huh?
Very thin.
They enter the earth really quickly.
They're made of magma.
It's true, guys!
There must be lots of fires.
Totally lots of disasters.
We don't even bury them.
Oh, you can't put dirt on them?
Don't talk to me like that.
What's wrong with you?
You're too close!
What's gotten into him all of a sudden?
That was so sudden.
I'm a future man!
I'm a future person!
Don't talk like I'm your friend!
We're not friends.
I didn't mean to.
Be more careful.
Are you still doubting me?
About the future?
Well, of course.
You're doubting me, huh?
Of course.
Alright, I'll tell you some stuff about the future.
You can ask me anything.
It's like Oogiri.
(Translator note: Oogiri is a form of improv comedy that focuses on providing funny answers on the spot for a question or theme)
Oogiri?
In the end, it's just Oogiri.
I have to work my brain the most here.
I ate three grape sugar tablets to get my brain going.
I'll go first. Is that a C on your chest?
It is, right?
This is a C.
This marks the spot where one of those thin meteors fell.
This is very trendy in the future.
And the C stands for...
Chan Kawai.
Chan Kawai
(Translator note: Chan Kawai is part of comedy duo W ENGINE)
Chan Kawai.
Chan Kawai?
Looks like the grape sugar isn't working that well.
Did you eat three of them?
I ate three.
I see.
Are the glasses to prevent eye damage?
That's right, the rays are strong.
The rays of sun.
Oh, sunlight.
It's very sharp light.
The light must be strong.
Right now, the sunlight is kinda like this.
But in the future, it goes like this.
What does that mean?
What's that about?
Feel how thick it is.
The light is thick?
What does that even mean?
I don't get it.
Do you fight it?
He's talking about the sunlight.
I mean, right now the sunlight is like this.
Right, right, right.
But it goes like this in the future.
In that case, that's amazing.
Really amazing.
By the way...
Aren't you curious about the TV programs of the future?
Of course.
Right?
Well...
There are TV books.
TV magazine from 2034
Does this pique your interest?
Yes!
Let us see!
I don't know these people.
Are they popular?
There's no way.
That's, um...
Mayo Kawasaki's son.
Mayo Kawasaki
Yeah.
He's a TV actor.
What's his name?
Jam Kawasaki.
Jam Kawasaki
From "mayo" in mayonnaise,
you get jam.
You must be interested to know...
how your program is doing in the future?
What program has the most ratings?
Just a minute...
Who's number 1?
My fingers are too smooth. You do it.
Do I have to turn the pages?
Seriously?
Your fingerprints are amazing.
What do you mean?
Your fingerprints have a ton of friction.
We don't have fingerprints in the future.
My fingerprints are slick as butter. Try touching it.
Is that so?
How far should he go?
Cut it out!
Tell him where!
I've been turning pages for a while.
What do you mean?
How is Shoten doing?
(Translator note: Shoten is a long-running comedy show airing since 1966)
Let's see.
They're still doing Shoten.
They are?
That's quite disgusting.
Are the rays OK now?
Huh?
The rays...
What about the rays?
The sunlight!
Hey you!
Is your face red?
We have thin skin,
us future people.
Blood flows quickly.
Something like that...
What about Gaki no Tsukai?
I'll tell you now. It's still on the air.
What?!
You're still doing it.
I'll show you.
Are you OK?
You dropped something.
You don't have digital money?
The thing is, I borrowed this bike.
Route 33's Dodo lent it to me.
Route 33's Dodo
I don't know about that...
No way.
Dodo saves up coins for the soaplands.
(Translator note: Soaplands are bathhouses often offering adult services on the side)
I didn't know...
Who cares?!
I'm sorry about the mess.
But the money hasn't changed, huh?
Didn't you borrow the bike?
This bike is from the present.
Oh, right, right!
The bike is from the present!
Right.
Route 33's Dodo isn't around in the future.
We don't even think of him in the present.
Don't say that!
He's the manager of a Yakitori place right now!
I don't know about that...
Look.
This is the present.
It's Gaki no Tsukai.
That was about 1 year ago.
Yeah.
Right.
Well, the members have changed a bit.
Ah, because it's been 16 years.
But the GnT tradition is still going strong 16 years later.
I'm sorry to say Tanaka's been replaced.
That's unfortunate. What a shame...
You could say it's a bit political.
New Romantic's Onigiri replaced him.
New Romantic's Onigiri
Onigiri? Seriously?
He's here thanks to Matsumoto's nepotism.
Ah, I could see that.
Is that so?
We hang out in private...
I have heard that.
But we don't work on TV together.
It's disgusting. And Endo? Sorry, he's also been replaced.
That's expected.
The Kokoriko duo, huh?
Wanna see? This is...
Tsutsumi from Dorians.
Dorians' Tsutsumi
This was Hamada's nepotism.
I knew they got along!
You take good care of him.
Let's see Hosei.
Yama-chan changed too.
Who is it?
I'm sorry, Hosei changed too. Let's see...
More Dorians?
Dorians' Hirai
Both Dorians. Wait...
Hamada's nepotism is horrible!
He fits in so nicely.
And here's the big reveal.
Really?
Isn't that the end?
That's gotta be it.
You would have never expected this, but...
I mean, we're Downtown!
There's another sticker.
Matsumoto changed.
Seriously?
Hamada's the only one left?
That's right, only Hamada.
They're now Hamada and the Dorians' Gottsu Ee Kanji.
They changed the name?
This is Gaki!
Wrong show!
Oh, you're right!
It's not Gottsu!
Your face is red!!
Because we have thin skin.
My skeleton shows through my skin.
Let's see...
This is
Master Takahashi.
Master Takahashi
(Translator note: Master Takahashi is a minor celebrity known for having a fast trigger finger)
He'd be close to 80 by that time!
In 16 years, right?
This group wouldn't be funny at all!
But they're still on the air, aren't they?
They're still doing the show?
Amazing...
Now you'll dress like me.
Change into clothes from 16 years in the future
Learn about the future from future person Cookie
Look at the future fashion.
Pretty good.
We're similar.
What's this for?
What do you need this for?
You know, it's like one of those things...
I do this thing...
I use it to pretend I'm a fire extinguisher.
See? I'm a fire extinguisher.
That's what you do?
But we can't do that.
We can't turn into fire extinguishers.
As future people,
you're the lowest ranking.
The length represents your rank.
Really?
Yes.
The color is a little different too.
Right.
Mariko Kaga
If I were Mariko Kaga, it would be blue...
and stretch to the other side.
Her rank is crazy high.
She even brings her cape to Wareme De Pon.
(Translator note: Wareme De Pon is a Japanese Mahjong variety show)
Oh, she plays Mahjong!
Right.
She sure loves that game.
It's amazing.
Next,
Future grave visiting.
What?
It's completely different in the future.
Shall we go?
We'll do that next.
Learning about future grave visiting
Visiting graves 16 years in the future...
The very design of the graves has changed.
We don't visit graves like before.
Tanaka...
What do you think graves of the future look like?
They must be very compact.
Very small?
Yes, super small. So they don't take up much space.
That's a very good prediction.
We're running out of land with the population explosion.
There's no space to make big graves.
I never thought we'd have that kind of future.
So...
These small graves...
Like they came from a gachapon machine!!
Well, maybe not quite that small.
So, who wants to see?
Ah, everyone does.
They look like this.
This is a grave.
A TV?
It looks like an old CRT TV...
A video?
A TV video?
Remember how popular TVs were back then?
There was a ton of waste created by TVs.
You'd find them lying around everywhere.
So, what could we do with them?
We figured we'd used them as graves.
You're dead anyway.
I mean, it's all just bones in the end.
Bones are really just trash, so we figured put trash with trash.
Graves are trash now.
Also, look at this.
It's Hamada.
You're right!
Is that Hamada's grave?
Hamada's grave?
It's your grave!
My grave?!
16 years later,
Hamada is dead.
But you just showed him to us in Gaki...
He was the only regular left.
I was the only one left in Gaki!
That photo was taken 16 years and 1 month in the future.
This happened 16 years, 2 months,
and 2 days in the future.
That picture-
He died one month later?
That's right, he's gonna die later.
That's scary!
Is that so?
Shirono, come here.
Shirono?
Is his name Shirono?
Is your name Shirono?
Yes, my name is Shi-ro-no.
Some people call me Shir-Ono.
People started calling me Shirono, and then it turned into Roshino.
"Roshino! Roshino!"
Then it turned into Rossy, and that's how I got stuck with the name.
GET THE HELL OUT!!
You called him Shirono.
My fault, huh?
We use some of these in the future. But some we don't.
Tools for grave visiting in 16 years (including dummy items)
Matsumoto, try it out.
Oh, me?
Hamada likes these.
Asparagus
I feel like we definitely need this.
Asparagus
Water Pail
And this one...
Asparagus
Water Pail
Sotoba
(Translator note: Sotoba are wooden posts inscribed with Buddhist prayers and the name of the deceased)
I mean, you have to have this.
He figured it out!
I see!
Let's do this.
Place it vertically.
And then we do this...
OK, OK...
It's starting to look real.
It's starting to look real, and it's very creepy.
I don't know...
Oh, it went inside.
Stand back...It's wrong. Wrong!!
Oh, sorry.
It's a mess.
It's soaking wet!!
There's so much water!
It's fine! You can't use this stuff anyway...
You can-
Don't talk if you don't know!!
I'm sorry.
Don't get full of yourself!!
DON'T GET FULL OF YOURSELF!!
Sorry.
You've all been acting high and mighty from the start.
They messed up.
But we want to know the correct answer.
I'll show you.
See? He grabbed the Ginbis snack.
You're right.
He grabbed the same stuff!
The same stuff...
He's putting it behind.
It's the same spot!
That's it.
You're right.
Did you get it right?
He's covering the grave with exhaust fumes.
I don't think that's right...
That's why he was so pissed off.
Is it OK?
That's why he got mad.
He was super angry.
He's using the TV.
It's been a while since I've seen this kind of TV.
Here we go...
I remember this.
Look at him.
I sure did that...
Gimme a break...
Ah, we can see the person he was.
You get to see all this nostalgic footage.
I see, I see.
A memorial, huh?
That's right.
What?
What did you tape over?
You can't show that.
You can't tape over that stuff.
It's so dirty.
You should have used a brand new tape.
Well...
I recorded over a private video.
It was a miscalculation.
OK, what's next?
Huh?
What?
He's shepherding us away.
Your glasses.
Oh, right.
The rays, right?
Will you tell us what's next?
Why does he keep the engine on?
The face in that video, though...
It feels like-
He always turns the engine on, then pushes the bike.
It feels like he's sending us off to the station.
Like he wants to go home quickly.
(Translator note: Setsubun is the celebrated beginning of spring. During it, Mamemaki or "bean-throwing" is done to ward off evil for the coming year)
Learn about the future of the Setsubun Spring Festival
What's the bean-throwing ceremony like 16 years later...
Hamada will play the demon.
You'll have to come with me and change into the demon.
Dressing as a demon from 16 years in the future
The two of them prepare for a demonic battle.
Here comes a demon!
A demon is coming!
That's Hamada.
Future demons still look like this.
That's what he meant by "demon".
Hamada!
Well...
No, no, no.
It's meaningless.
That's just him.
It's him.
But...
He's no different.
It's meaningless?
Yeah.
Even when Hamada is impersonating Hamada,
he still looks like Hamada.
Hamada is still Hamada.
What are we looking at?
Let's get down.
It's pointless.
Right?
It's just him.
What's the point of this?
There's no change.
What do you mean?
You didn't change at all.
We're gonna be throwing beans for Setsubun.
It's gonna be a real fight between demons and humans.
You guys have to try your best to ward us away,
and we'll try to stay inside the house.
It's serious!
We also have these flannel shirts, since I'm with Hamada.
To defend yourselves, right?
Wait, are those weapons?
They are.
It's really wet.
No way! Stop that!
No good!
We'll use these soaking wet shirts to slap you!!
No, no, no!
Hang on!
That'll hurt too much!
We don't have any weapons!
I'll give you something too!
Yeah, they're too strong.
We have handheld weapons, but you get these projectiles...
It's teeth.
Teeth?! Really?
Teeth instead of beans.
What kind of teeth?
They're human teeth.
Human?!
Human teeth.
From humans?
Yes.
We'll attack while the music plays.
But you can't throw teeth while it plays.
What?!
When the music suddenly stops,
that's when the demons freeze.
That's your chance!!
You can't move?
That's when we get to throw these.
Yes, you start throwing.
Now, future Setsubun...
START!
This song?!
He's gonna get us!
Scary!
That hurt!
Come on!
Stop the music!
He stopped!
They stopped again!
Huh? Is it over?
What's happening?
What is this?
What?
Alright. Stop! Stop! Stop!
Cut it off.
YOU!
Why me?
Terrible!
I've never had such a terrible partner.
We give up!
It's over.
What a mess.
It's over.
Human teeth...?
(Translator note: He keeps pronouncing "human teeth" slightly differently, with the last one being "Hitoshi", Matsumoto's first name)
Human teeth.
Hitoshi!
Now, it's time to announce today's winner!!
And to help me do it is...!
What the...
Huh?
Why him?
Is that...
Moto Fuyuki?
He's from the future?
Take this?
Thanks.
He's not from the future.
Shigeru Tsuyuki
He's Tsuyuki.
From Fuji TV.
Are you Tsuyuki from Fuji TV?
That's not Tsuyuki.
That's Tsuyuki?
It's Tsuyuki.
He's on Fuji TV.
That's confusing...
We have a winner.
TANAKA
Congratulations!
It's always Tanaka.
H-Hold on...
Why is that?
He was the bravest one. He desperately tried to fight us.
He wasn't scared.
My chest hurts from all the teeth.
Congratulations.
I'm going to give you a prize.
Now then, Mr. Tsuyuki...
This is a tunnel to the future.
This is the prize.
I will give you five seconds to look into the future.
Amazing!
Whaaaa?
So, you have to put your head through the hoop to see the future.
Please share the future you see with everyone.
Woah, what a fantasy!
Just five seconds, right?
A real fantasy.
Just five seconds.
Pass your head through!
One...
But we can still see him.
We can see it.
Three...
Four...
Five, time's up!
OK...
Did you see it?
What did you see?
After the staff said "OK",
Cookie apologized a lot.
Come on...
Was he really apologizing?
He was.
I messed up. That was 30 seconds later.
It'll happen again.
Let's go home, Mr. Tsuyuki.
"Tsuyuki"?
Tsuyuki...
Actually Tsuyuki?
Come with me, Tsuyuki.
Not Fuyuki, huh?
They're gonna disappear.
Adios, Japanese people!
Gaki members,
Thank you!
What was that?
They're the worst.
Translated by kentranslations Timed/Edited by blakeo_x
Just the worst. I can see him apologizing.
He's bowing to him.
Apologize to us!
Seriously?!